


Repairing the Damage

by Tien



Series: Moving Forward [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, M/M, pet!Karkat, sadStuck-ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-07-11
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tien/pseuds/Tien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Second part to Broken.</p><p>John and Karkat both try to get used to each other.<br/>It's a pet/salve/servant AU but the main theme is the two trying to piece their lives back together after coming to terms with their situations. </p><p>It will have multiple parts.</p><p>This fic is officially shelved. I will not be working on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if anything doesn't make sense. I'm trying to lay down a strong base for this story.  
> Also if you notice any spelling derps, they are my weakness.

"Karkat, come!" You call to your pet; the troll lifts himself up from his pile of blankets in the corner of your living room. "We're going shopping; you can come along this time." He stands by your side silently waiting for you to put the leash around his collar. You've upgraded the harsh chain the center used for one made of soft leather. He flicks his ears back and waits for the door to open. You run a hand through his hair; he immediately leans into the touch. "You're such a good boy Karkat," you ruffle his hair and step out into the hall.

The two of you proceed down the elevator; you were worried he'd be afraid of them at first, but the man at the center was right, Karkat was amazingly well trained. Every action the troll did was groomed to fit the desires of his master. At first it disturbed you, but eventually you got used to it. Actually, that fact disturbed you too. You looked to the troll standing next to you, he was waiting patiently for the elevator doors to open, his eyes looking ahead eagerly. He was so intelligent, so clever; it was hard to think he enjoyed being a pet. 

You remember he said he hated you. And you suppose you hate yourself too. Weeks back, you decided there was something wrong with you, with both of you. Karkat and yourself, you're not right. Clearly there is something wrong with you, but you can't do anything about that now. It's too late, for both of you. The elevator dings and you lead Karkat out. 

"Oh, John, I haven't seen you in while."

You turn around notice one of your neighbors. "Hi Lisa, how have you been?" Karkat slips quietly behind you. 

She notices him, "I didn't know you had a troll, what's his name?"

"Karkat," you reply, "go on, say hi."

He steps nervously away from you, "Hello."

"Oh, well hi Karkat. How are you?"

"Good." He keeps his answers short. 

"I've had him for a few months; I'm actually surprised you've never seen him. He comes with me to the store all the time." You pet his head between the nubby horns. She watches him rub against your hand. 

"Awww, he's precious can I pet him? He's nice right?"

You smile, "Yes, it's fine, he's really friendly. Just shy."

Karkat tilts his head down a bit and let the young women pet his head. "Aww, his hair is so soft; I didn't think it'd feel like this." She removed her hand and Karkat stepped back behind you. "He's adorable, maybe I should get one, are they hard to take care of?"

"No, not really, but I just got lucky with Karkat. He's very well trained, and he looks after himself easily." You look back at Karkat then at Lisa, "I just recommend one thing: do some research before you buy. It will really help you both out." You wave and walk away, Karkat trailing behind. He opens the car door on his own and sits in the back seat. The first place you go is the pet store. He gets out and looks up at the sign. He looks a bit confused. "We're going shopping for you first Karkat. Are you surprised?"

He nods and holds the door open for you. The troll shadows behind you as you make your way through the store. It used to bother you that troll supplies were kept at the pet store, but now you realize they're in exactly the right place. You lead him to the beds. "Pick one out; go on, you deserve something better than two blankets on the floor." He looks from you to the lane of beds then back to you. "You can sleep on a bed like this right? It's not against some code?" You ask wondering if you've broken a rule again. He shakes his head and starts looking them. "That's good." It's your turn to follow this time, you watch him poke and prod the various beds, which to you look like oversized dog beds, but then again his food looked like dog kibble, so you guess this is normal. 

It looked like he found one, but he hesitated, looking at the price tag, then moved to something else. "Karkat," you call, his head whips around and he comes immediately to you, "price doesn't matter, pick whatever one you want. I mean it." He smiles a bit and pulls out the one he was looking at. It really does have the appearance of a huge dog bed, but it looks nice, and seems sturdy and soft. You shrug and he puts it in the cart. "Next, let's get you a new collar, that one looks beat up and uncomfortable." He nods sliding a finger under it and tugging. "Man that's really tight…" you reach up to feel as well, your finger barely fits under the leather and his neck. "How long have you had that one?" 

"A long time." He replies. "Maybe since I was ten." 

"Eight years? Karkat, you definitely need a new one." He pushes the cart behind you and wander into the collar section. "I'm not really sure what we should be looking for…"

He rolls his eyes and you briefly catch a glimpse of the Karkat that cursed you out. You watch him fumble with the collar, his fingers trying to release the clasp. "Here, Karkat let me help." You try to get it off as well, but it's old and broken, "Damn, this is really on there." He whimpers softly, and you let go realizing that by pulling on it you were choking him a bit. "Sorry," you apologize quickly. 

A worker see's you and heads your direction, "Oh that poor thing, need any help?" You turn and nod gratefully. The worker produces a pair of box cutters and slices through the leather. Karkat takes a deep breath as soon as the pressure from his neck is removed. His hand runs over his throat and rubs a bit. "Honestly sir, that was way too tight, a troll's collar should never cut in like that."

"I know," You say lamely, "I just bought him, this was his collar from the center. I was buying him a new one today." Although, you know full well you could have purchased a new collar for him months ago, the thought never crossed your mind till now, and he never complained. Actually, you weren't sure if he could complain.

The worker showed you some nicer collars and some not as nice, "There are a lot of different options depending on your budget. You are both young; don't feel ashamed if you couldn't buy something really nice, trolls typically need a new collar every few years anyways, so don't worry about getting something overly fancy." 

You thank him as he leaves. "So, uh, Karkat, go ahead and pick, I guess." He walks over to the middle priced section and thumbs through various collars; once again you note he doesn't really look at style so much as the material. "Karkat this one is pretty nice," You comment holding up a collar. He takes it from you and feels it, then adjusts it and puts it on.

"It'll do." He says handing it back.

It was so weird, shopping for something like a collar for someone who could speak back. That uncomfortable feeling crept back into your stomach, but you looked around and saw other troll owners picking and choosing collars just like you. They didn't bother letting the trolls try them on, they held them up and then threw them in their carts and lead them away. "Is it weird," you start, "that I care about what makes you comfortable?" 

"No," he said quietly, "that just means you're a good owner." He pushed the cart slowly away.

"Hey, Karkat hold up, it says here they can do custom collars!" You grabbed the black collar and walked towards a counter. "What do you want on it?" 

"My sign, red." He pointed to a blood red color.

"Oh, uh ok. It was the sign for cancer right?" He nodded. You dropped off the small leather band and went back to shopping. "Karkat do you want anything different for food?" He shook his head, "Isn't the same thing everything day boring?" He shook his head again. "If you say so…" John grabbed a bag of food and moved on, "Is there anything else you need? I feel bad for not doing this sooner." 

Karkat holds up his hands, "Claw trimmer. They're getting long." 

"Oh, uh, ok. I didn't know you had to do that…trolls have claws? That's pretty neat." You watched him sigh and push the cart past, you could have sworn you heard him mutter 'idiot' as he went by. "Hey do you want new blankets?" He looks at you with a tilted head, "Well, you've been using some old ones off the couch, you could use something heavier, what do you think?" He shrugs and keeps walking. "I'll pick something up for you later." You stopped by to grab the collar on your way out, carefully putting the tags back on and handing it to Karkat. 

He ran a finger over the embroidered symbol and handed it back to John. "You put it on me."

"Ok…" You took it back and placed it around Karkat's neck. The collar hung a little loose around his neck, "Should I tighten it?" He nodded; you did so making sure it wasn't too tight. "There, now we're all ready to go!" you stepped in front of him and smiled. He put a hand up and rested it on the new band around his neck; he smiled a bit and followed you out. 

When you reached the car he asked, "Why are you buying me so much stuff?"

"Well, partly I felt bad because you're sleeping on the floor, with only blankets," he then proceeded to remind you that he slept on cement with a small sheet over him for two years, "the other reason," you continue, "is that I have friends coming over, and I want them to know that I'm taking good care of you."

"Friends?" 

"Yeah, friends of mine. They mean a lot to me." You close the trunk of your car and get in. "They're coming to visit, I haven't seen them in a while, so it's pretty important to me."

"I understand, I will be sure to be on my best behavior."

"Thanks Karkat," you pause, "oh gosh, not like you aren't always on your best behavior! Because you are, you're really good Karkat." The troll in the back flashes a quick smile and turns his attention to staring out the window. Your trip to the store is quick; you just had to buy a few things to make as a dinner for your friends when they got here. Oh man, you are so excited; they haven't been to see you since your dad died. Sure you've talked to them over Pesterchum, but it's not the same, you miss seeing them. You're certain they've missed seeing you too.

Karkat helps you unload everything; you refused to let him do it alone, there was way too much stuff to carry. He places the bed in the corner and proceeds to flop down on it. "Do you like it?" He nods and stretches out before curling into a ball again. You start dinner for yourself again, this time making a very small portion for Karkat. It was mostly vegetables with a small bit of chicken on the side. "Karkat, come here, dinner." You hand him his bowl of kibble, and then the small plate of food. "I thought you might like something else. Think you can handle it? It's small…" 

He looks uncertain, but took it anyway. The troll retreated to the corner again and sat leaning against the wall eating silently. You watched him pick up the small piece of broccoli and sniff. He hesitated, whimpered once, and ate it, chewing slowly. "Karkat, do you not like broccoli?"

He shook his head, "Scared." You ask why. "Getting sick," he replied and took another piece and chewed. 

"You don't think that small little bit could hurt you, do you?" 

"Maybe." He went back to eating; you went back to watching over him worriedly.

"If you think it'll hurt, then you don't have to…" You trailed off as he ate the last bite. He walked the plate and bowl back rinsing them off and putting them in the cupboard. He flopped back down and curled up. Later that night while you were watching TV you heard him whimper in his bed behind the couch. Instantly you were on alert. "Karkat?" You moved so you could see him. The troll was still curled in a ball, his eyes shut tight. "Karkat are you ok?" He whimpered again opening his eyes to look at you, pain monopolized his facial features. "Karkat…I didn't mean to make you sick again." He nodded, he knew you didn't. 

You got off your couch and sat beside him, allowing him to rest his head in your lap. He whimpered and whined and his fingers dug into fabric as his stomach churned. Petting him was the only thing you could do for him. The troll was in pain, tears leaking from eyes, but he didn't throw up. He kept it down and eventually drifted to sleep. The next day Karkat appeared by your side while you made breakfast. "You hungry?" You asked him a bit hesitantly. He shook his head and watched as you made a small omelet. He plucked some of the cheese off of the bowl and walked to the fridge. You flipped your meal onto a plate and set it on the table. "What are you looking at Karkat?" he moved to the side and pointed to a picture. "Oh." You got up and stood next to him.

"That's my dad." You tell him. "That's us, two years ago, before he…" you pause getting your breath under control, "before he died." You pick the photo off the fridge and look at your smiling faces. "He was the best, Karkat, the best. We'd do everything together. He taught me how to cook." You laughed, "We'd prank each other all the time, it was great." Your smile faded, "Then, two years ago, he…he died. He got really sick, too fast, and too sudden. The doctors couldn't…they couldn't save him." You felt your breath catch and you gasped. "Shit, sorry Karkat." Hot tears rolled down your face. He took the picture from your hands before your tears could fall on it. Carefully he hung it back up and pressed his face into your shoulder. 

He growled quietly and hugged you. "I miss him so much Karkat!" You wail as your pet clutches you. He nuzzles your neck and whimpers, trying to get you to stop. But the memories, they never ceased flooding your brain. "I'm so lonely, Karkat, I'm so alone." 

The troll removes his head from your chest and looks into your eyes. He stares at you, full of concern and sympathy. You jerk away briefly when you feel something brush your cheek. It's rough, like sandpaper, no, more like a cat's tongue. Karkat is licking your tears away. The troll nuzzles your neck again and says softly, "Don't cry."

"I'm sorry. Usually I don't…" You trail off as your legs give way. Karkat supports you but lets you slump to the floor. Arms wrap around you tightly and Karkat pulls you close, doing his best to provide comfort to your trembling self.

It's there, on the floor of your kitchen, in-between your table and the counter that you spend your morning. You haven't cried this hard since the day he died, and you're not entirely sure why the dam broke today, or why you're using Karkat as your personal tissue. But he never leaves, and he never complains. He simply sits with you and licks the tears from your face. 

Eventually you pull yourself together and stand up. The omelet you made is now cold and you look from the abandoned food to Karkat. "Heh, heh, well…we could always go out to eat? Maybe get lunch? Now that half the day is over."

Karkat shakes his head, nuzzles your neck and wanders to his bed again. You figure that means he didn't want to go. So you dump the plate in the sink and head out, you had errands to run today anyways. 

Upon your arrival home you notice a lack of troll. Worriedly you glace at your watch, you had only been gone an hour. You kick off your shoes and walk around the tiny apartment. He's not behind the couch, like usual. You dump today's purchase on the small bed, two blankets. "Karkat!" You call. "Karkat where are you?" Relief floods through you when he steps out of the bathroom. "Oh, there you are. Usually you greet me, I was worried." You look back towards his bed and mention, "Hey, I uh, bought you some new blankets. I hope you like them." He walked over to bed and knelt down. "You're always so shivery, so I thought a nice thick heavy one would work, I also got you a soft one, you know as something nice."

He puts a hand on the thicker blanket, feeling it, and then moves to the soft one. A smile spreads across his face and he brings the fabric to his cheek. You can't help but laugh when he rubs his face over it and flops down snuggling deep into the pile of blankets. You leave him be and focus on other tasks around the apartment. Your friends will be arriving soon, only two more days, you want everything to be nice and clean for when they get here. You're picking up and organizing your movie collection when you hear a loud buzzing sound coming from the corner, you turn around to investigate, you find Karkat wrapped in the new blankets and still nuzzling the soft one with his head. He has the most content and happy expression you've ever seen on him. "Hey, Karkat, you ok?"

He looks up at you, eyes bright and alert. "Fine," he tells you. 

You kneel down and ruffle his hair. "That's a strange noise you're making."

"Purring. I'm happy." He closes his eyes and lets out a content sigh.

"Oh, well, that's good." You stop petting him and he looks back up at you.

"Thank you for the blankets. You are a good master." 

That catches you off guard. "Oh, um, thanks Karkat. I really am trying to be better than those first weeks. I think I'm getting the hang of it." It's easy right? Just sacrifice your morals and sense of humanity and suddenly taking care of a troll is easy work. 

Karkat sits up and looks straight into your eyes. He dips his head and rubs against your arm. You smile and run your hand up and down his back. His eyes are on you when you get up and start cleaning again. "Do you want my help? I know I serve as your pet, but I was also trained to be a servant type as well." 

"Sure, I mean, if you want…" You pause remembering there is no 'what he wants', "Yes, actually, Karkat I would like you to start in the bathroom and clean it up. The scrub brush and supplies are under the sink." He wordlessly stood and moved to the bathroom, the water turns on and the sounds of scrubbing and spraying can be heard. When he was finished he came out and immediately started on the kitchen them moved to the guest room, which was supposed to be his room. He finishes there and returns to his nest of blankets. "Wow, Karkat, you're pretty efficient. That was fast." 

He shrugs and rolls over. You can hear him start purring again from the corner. You can even hear it from the kitchen, it makes you smile, you're glad you gave him something he can happy about. He is so much like an animal sometimes it's scary, the way he'll nuzzle or lick you, chirp, growl and now, purr. But when he looks up at you, you can see his eyes, and they shine with intelligence, and you just know he doesn't want to act like this. However, you both know there's nothing you can do about it. He'll continue to be your pet and you'll stay his master. 

You call him for dinner and he walks in still wrapped in his blanket. He takes his food and turns to leave. "Hey Karkat," you say as your hand reaches to flip at his hair, "I should get you a haircut tomorrow, it's kinda long, don't you think?" He didn't say anything just moved back to his bed. "I can take you to any place to get your hair cut right?" He nodded. "Well then, that's what we'll do tomorrow!"

You parked your car and got out, opening the back door and grabbing Karkat's leash. "Heh heh, I've never done this before, I hope it's not too weird." Prior to your departure you did a search on all the troll friendly hair cutting places. It turns out that specialists were needed to cut troll hair, you weren't sure why though. The door jingled when you opened it and stepped through leading Karkat. 

A lady looked up from behind the counter, "Oh may I help you?"

"I, I uh, need to get my troll's hair cut, do you do that here?" You gestured behind you.

"Oh, yes we do. Helen in the back will take him." You nod and follow where she pointed.

"Sir you have to stay with him while I cut." 

"Oh, um ok." You stand by Karkat's side when he sits down.

"It's a safety measure."

"Sorry, I've never done this before." 

She eyed Karkat up and down, "New to owning?" You nod. "That's ok, we get those a lot. Sometimes trolls freak out when their masters leave. Besides it's best that they see someone they trust when they first wake up."

"What do you mean?" You watched as she moved her hand to one of Karkat's horns and pressed down. Your troll went limp and slumped back immediately, his eyes closing. "What did you do to him?" You ask a bit louder than you had intended. 

"He's fine, don't worry. It's common practice to knock a troll out while working on them." She looked at your horrified expression. "I take it you didn't know they had that reflex?" You shake your head. "Heh, how else do you think we beat them in the war all those years ago?"

"War? I'm sorry ma'am I don't understand."

"My, my, what are they teaching kids these days? Do they just skip over that whole part of human history?" You stare waiting for an explanation. "Did you really think trolls were always our servants?"

You nod, "Well, that's what I've always heard…"

"Let me give you a history lesson, but before that, what do you want done to his hair?" 

"Oh, um, just trim it up I guess, shorten the back so he doesn't look feral." 

She nods and grabs a pair of scissors and a water bottle. She begins spraying down his hair and combing it. "Now then, a long time ago, we shared this planet with trolls, but eventually fighting broke out, and wars. Like anything humans seem to touch, we wanted to own them. The battles were fierce; many from both sides were lost. We fought against each other for decades, but then humans figured out a weakness of trolls. You see, if you apply pressure right here at the base of the horns," she demonstrated on Karkat, "their bodies go limp and they pass out. Humans used that to their advantage. But that wasn't the only thing, the final blow came when we figured how trolls reproduce."

"So...humans, they…oh god."

"Yeah pretty much. Once we captured or killed all their mothergrubs it was easy to overturn the battle. Trolls simply died off. The ones that we allowed to be born were conditioned to serve us. Through many, many years of selective breeding we were able to completely brainwash a whole race into becoming pets. They don't know any better," She ran a hand through Karkat's hair, looking at him sadly, "we train them from the moment their born, and they don't see free trolls, there's nothing that would suggest that how they've been raised is anything but normal. Modern technology has allowed for the separation of personality traits and the ability to breed out violence or disobedience. We've made the perfect servant."

"We've ruined a whole race." You feel like crying, but what good would it do? There isn't anything that would change. Helen finished up with his hair and turned to you. 

"How long have you had him?"

"Karkat? Oh uh, almost a half a year I think."

"He seems nice, I've worked with trolls for a while, I can tell this one is special. You got lucky; he has such round horns and non-threatening teeth. You look the same age too, that's nice. What's his blood color?"

"Oh uh, I'm not sure actually…"

She took one of the scissors and pricked his finger, "Relax he won't even notice. Huh, I've never seen this shade of red before."

"Is that bad?"

"No, not really. It does mean you'll live about the same length of time." You look at her confused again. "Trolls live longer than humans, but that length varies by blood color. If you take all the colors and put them in a circle starting with red and ending with purple we have all the possibilities of troll blood color. Trolls with purple or blue blood live way longer than trolls with maroon or yellow blood." She explained quickly, "So your troll here has red blood, he'll probably live around the same length of time you do, which means, provided you don't sell him, you'll probably be his final owner."

That thought hit you hard. You knelt down and looked at Karkat, "I'm your final owner…" You never thought of it that way. You'll be the only person he has for the rest of his life. The idea made you excited, and a bit frightened too. You wanted to make sure he lived the best life possible and was comfortable, especially if you were the only human he'd have major contact with. Maybe you could make up for some of the wrongs humanity did?

"Oh, look he's coming to."

Karkat opened his eyes slowly and looked around; he was a bit panicked before he saw you. His eyes rested on you and he smiled and chirped. "Hey buddy, have a nice nap?" You ruffled his hair and stood up. 

"Chirping, that's a good sign, it's always nice to see a troll happy to see his master." Karkat quickly licked your hand when you brought it away, "He's affectionate too, you did get lucky."

Your troll tried to stand but he was really weak. "Is he ok?" You ask. His face seems a bit flushed.

"He should be fine; it looks like the affects will take a little longer to wear off with him. Some trolls are like that." She walked up to the front desk area and rung you up. You had to practically shoulder Karkat to the front of the store; he wasn't trying very hard to move. "Your total is ten dollars." You handed over the cash, "Don't be afraid to come back, I'd love to hear how Karkat is doing!" 

You smile and tell her you would. Karkat is pretty much a dead weight as soon as you hit the parking lot. "Jeez you're taking this a bit badly aren't you?" He licks your cheek and starts purring. "Karkat knock it off." He smiles and rubs against your neck. Eventually you get him to the car and help him inside. He curls up in the back and rests his head in his arms. You get in too and start the engine. Karkat's still purring in the back seat. "I'm getting worried about you, are you sure you're fine?"

He nods and closes his eyes. "I have a few more errands to run today, will you be ok?" He chirps at you and tucks his head in. "I guess that's a yes." The store isn't far away and Karkat is now unconscious in the back. You lean over him and notice the redness hasn't left his cheeks. You place a hand on his forehead; it's hot to the touch. "Karkat?" His eyes flutter open. "Hey, I'm going to go inside real quick, I'll be out soon, I think you should stay here. I'll lock the doors, do not follow me. I think you might be sick or something. Take it easy." He chirps and sluggishly licks your hand. You can hear him whimper quietly when the car door shuts and locks. 

There is definitely something wrong with your troll. You're really worried; he's never acted like this before. Briefly you wonder if he had a bad reaction to being knocked out or something. He was so warm as opposed to his usual cold body temperature and constant slight shivering. Maybe that's why he's sick? Worry floods your mind as you shop for the last-minute things. You find your feet carrying you to the pharmacy area and looking through various medications. You check the boxes and find one for minor cold and flu relief that is safe for trolls and humans. You purchase it, because even if he isn't sick, it's never a bad idea to have medicine around the house. You grab him a few troll snacks too and head back to the car. 

He chirps and sits up when you enter. "Are you feeling better?" You ask looking him over. His face is still flushed, but his eyes are bright and he's purring again. You toss him a treat and warn him, "Don't you throw up in the car," he looks at you, a bit puzzled but eats the small treat and falls back asleep.

Note to self: Knocking Karkat out causes him to be odd puddle of purring immobile troll flesh. Once again you have to practically carry him to your apartment. The way there he's chirping and licking you, even when you order him to stop is concerning. You plop him down on his bed and he rolls over and looks up at you. He has the weirdest expression on his face; you can't really tell why he would look so pleased. He ends up growling at you but it melts into a purr and he stretches out. 

"God you are so weird today." He shivers slightly and you pull the blankets over him. He looks drowsy still and unaware of his own surroundings. But he protests when you leave to grab the rest of the bags from the store. When you return he is still very much out of it, he doesn't seem sick, but it's worrisome. "I hope you snap out of this…" You run a hand through his hair again, careful to avoid his face, you don't want him licking you anymore. He makes the most pathetic pleading noises you've ever heard. "Karkat, I don't understand what you want. Talk to me." The troll just growls and purrs and looks about as confused as you are. "If you aren't better by tomorrow I'm going to get you checked out, ok?" He whines when you leave to get ready for bed, but doesn't get up. You can hear him whimper from the other room off and on through the night. 

The next day you are once again attempting to make an omelet for breakfast. This time however, you hope you won't end up a bawling mess on your kitchen floor. A voice sounds behind that makes you jump a bit.

"I…I'm really sorry about yesterday."

It's Karkat; you spin around and look at him. He seems back to normal, his cheeks are a little red, but you're guessing that's from embarrassment now. "It's ok, are all trolls like that?"

"No. Oh god no. Just me. I'm really sorry…" He trailed off before speaking again. "It's a result of some bad training I had when I was little. I can't really help it. Anyways, I'm sorry put you through that." 

"It's fine, I was just surprised. Are you like that every time?"

He looked away, "Uh, yeah. I'll work on it, I was hoping it would wear off as time went by." He stopped talking and retreated to the other side back to his bed. "Just, sorry about that. I should have warned you." 

You tell him it's fine, and no one got hurt or anything and go back to cooking. "My friends are coming over today." You say happily. "It's been so long I can't wait!"

"Do you want me to stay somewhere? Like the spare room?" 

"No, of course not Karkat. You can stay out here. I want my friends to meet you too!" He excuses himself to shower and clean up while you finish eating. You then proceed to bounce around the house picking up any stray loose ends. When he exits the bathroom you take his place showering and going about your daily routine. You're slipping on your clothes when you hear a knock at the door. "Karkat! Can you get that?" You call to your troll through the door. "It's probably a just a neighbor or something." It was way too early for your friends to show up; they still had a good three hours. 

Karkat stood up and went to the door. He had been trained on being a servant as well as a pet, tasks like conversing with a person at the door were no problem. The troll opened the door and was greeted by three surprised faces. 

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," A girl with blond hair started, "we seem to have to have the wrong room."

"Oh, would you like assistance? Who are you looking for?"

"Yes, that would be lovely, thank you. We're looking for our friend, John Egbert. Is he a neighbor of yours by chance? I could have sworn he told me that apartment 413 was his." The girl looked troubled and checked a small card she was holding.

"Oh, yes, that is my Master. "


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't edited this, also I wrote it in one sitting. I may update it and make it longer, but chances are I wont'. Anyways, a few people were wondering where the update was for this, and here it is!

Karkat moved away from the door and allowed the three humans inside. “Your master?” The blond girl asked cautiously stepping inside. 

“Yes, John Egbert,” he fell back and called to you, “John are these your friends?”

You had just finished putting on your clothes when you entered the room and saw them, your friends, people you have waited years to see again. “Rose? Dave? Jade?” You could tell your eyes must have lit up and a smile spread across your face, “Oh my gosh!” You ran forward and hugged them all tightly, “It’s been so long! I’m so glad you’re here!” You released them and smiled wide. “I’ve missed you all so much!”

“We missed you too!” Jade said excitedly. 

Rose is still staring at Karkat, “John, I didn’t know you had a troll. Are you watching him for someone?”

“No. He is my owner.” Karkat answered instead.

You moved over to Karkat and pushed him forward a bit, “Oh yeah! I should introduce him, this is Karkat!”

Jade runs up and hugs him too, “Hi Karkat, I’m Jade!” Karkat just looks surprised at the sudden contact.

“How long have you had him? We’ve never heard you mention him before.” Rose questions.

“Oh uh, about a half a year,” you reply, “I thought he would be a neat surprise to show you!” You laugh when Jade finally lets him go and he stares awkwardly at the others. “Don’t be shy Karkat, these are my friends.” He nods and looks from one blond to the other. You walk over to Dave, “Go on say hi. He’s not going to bite or anything.” 

You can’t tell what Dave is thinking and you certainly can’t tell his emotions from behind those shades but he steps forward and extends his hand. Karkat doesn’t look confused, but he looks flustered. His eyes dart from face to face and he lets out a quiet whine. It looks like he isn’t sure what to do in this situation, you really hope he doesn’t panic or anything, you decide to move a bit closer to him just in case. When Dave’s hand gets close enough to him Karkat quickly licks it and pulls back. “What the hell? Egbert did he just lick me?”

You laugh and pull Karkat closer to you, “Heh heh yeah, don’t worry, they’re trained to do that. I’m not sure he knew what you wanted. I’ve never introduced him to this many people before.” Karkat’s face looked a little red; he probably knew he embarrassed himself. 

Rose quickly pet his head and said, “Hello Karkat, it’s nice to meet you.” 

“You to.” He says softly back.

“Whoa Egbert they talk?” Dave looks closer at Karkat. 

“Yeah of course, did you think he was mute?” 

Jade approached him again and pet his head too, she giggled when he licked her hand as well. “He’s so nice! Aw John you should have told me about him sooner.” 

“You seem to get along with him well,” You comment. 

“We have two trolls in the lab at school where I work!” She answered, “One of them is a sea troll, she’s really pretty. Sea trolls are rare, if you didn’t know, her name is Feferi. You could say I’m pretty used to being around these guys!” She moved her hand behind one of his small horns and scratched. A smile spread across your face when your troll relaxed and softly purred. “Ohhhh you’re so lucky, Feferi doesn’t make half the cute sounds he does.” Karkat moves away from the contact and stands behind you. “Aw he’s shy, gosh he adorable!”

You put a hand on him comforting him. “Karkat these are my friends, you can be more social. They won’t hurt you.” He shakes his head and carefully retreats to his corner and lies down, he keeps an eye on you and your friends from his bed. “Anyways,” you say turning back to your friends, “you guys are early! I didn’t expect that!”

“Traffic decided to be on our side today.” Rose sat down on your couch. “How have you been John?”

“Oh you know me, same old boring stuff! School, work, I’m pretty busy! But what about you guys?” You sat next to Rose and Jade followed suit. Dave took up residence in one of your side chairs. “I mean, Dave you live in the big city right? That’s got to be cool.”

He smirked, “Yeah it is. I have DJ job on the weekends, pretty awesome. You already know that I attend class full time during the week.”

“I’ve been working in the lab at our school!” Jade started eagerly, “it’s a lot of hard work, but really fun too! We’re testing a lot of different plants at the moment. Especially a few that have been known to carry useful chemicals in their leaves.” She looked over her shoulder at Karkat, “We have a few trolls that work as assistants down there too! They’re so helpful.” 

“And I’m finishing up my schooling; I actually have a fashion line that I’m working on. I’ve even had a few job offers; I’m not even out of college yet.” 

“That’s sounds so cool, congratulations!”

“Ah, the celebration does not start until after I get the position,” She reminded you. 

“Heh heh, but it’s still pretty awesome!”

“And what about you John?”

“Oh, me?” You paused, “I’m just going to school, slowly trying to get that biology degree! And I work at a small coffee place. Nothing special. I guess, I uh bought Karkat, that’s something that just happened.”

“Why did you buy a troll John?” Rose inquired, “I thought you didn’t like them.”

“I don’t…It was actually kind of a spur of the moment thing. I don’t really know why I did it. I was just there, and he looked like he needed me, so I bought him.” You noticed Karkat was looking over at you, “Hey buddy, you can come over, you know that right?” He nodded but didn’t do anything else. “Anyways, he’s the only addition to my life; I’m not nearly as exciting as you guys are.”

“Is he going to just stare at us like that?” Dave asked. 

“Uh, I guess. Is it bothering you? Karkat! Can you please go to the other room?” You watched your troll get up and go to the guest room he carried one of the blankets you gave him too. 

“Oh, he didn’t have to leave…” Jade trailed off. 

“Does he seriously just sit there and watch you?”

“Yeah sometimes, I got used to it. I mean I’ve him for months now.”

Dave looked from the guest room back to you, “I’m not going to judge your choices, you’re an adult, but don’t you find it creepy and wrong?” 

You looked down at your lap, “Y-Yeah, I do. It’s disturbing, but…I can’t really do that much about it now. I thought about giving him back to the center, but he was already slated to be destroyed, I didn’t want him die or anything.”

Jade leaned forward and asked, “Why was he going to be killed?”

“I don’t know, I’m guessing it’s because he wasn’t purchased in a while. He had been there for years.” You didn’t mention the look in his eyes when you first saw him. Or how he wished for death, all that you kept to yourself. “But he’s a good troll, and I like having him around, he’s really good company.” After a while you decided it would be best if you left the house for a while and show everyone around town. 

The city you lived in wasn’t small, but it wasn’t large either. It had a pretty decent downtown, one you frequented hardly at all. It was a pretty city, with lots of garden courts and parks to visit. You decided you were going to take Karkat to a few when the weather got a bit warmer. It was just now turning to winter, the air began to chilly and after dark it nipped at your skin. The trees were bare, but the sun still shown and most days you were fine with just a light jacket. 

There wasn’t a day you could remember being as happy as you were now. Not since your dad died. Together with your friends, this is what you needed. Seeing their smiling faces, well except for Dave, it made you feel like everything was alright. Like you weren’t doing poorly in your classes, like you were alive again, not dead like at work. Briefly you even forgot that you owned a something that was practically human. 

Of course, this feeling of bliss was short lived. You couldn’t escape from reality; it was there when you opened the door to your apartment. Karkat was waiting, like always, alert and watching. He saw you enter and retreated back to the guest room.

“Karkat, wait, you don’t have to go, really.”

He hesitated and moved back to his corner.

“Does he sleep there?”

“Yup,” you replied. “Trolls are trained to sleep on the floor; anything else is against the rules.” He sat back down on the couch, “When do you guys want dinner? I’m open for anytime. Maybe we could watch movie too.”

“As long as it isn’t Con Air,” Dave said sitting down. 

“Hey, Con Air is a great movie!” You protested and laughed. Rose and Jade don’t seem too bothered by the idea of a movie during dinner. Getting up, you motioned to the shelves of DVD’s under the TV and the large case next to the entertainment center. “Go ahead and pick anything you want! I’ll start dinner.” When you got up Karkat followed. “Hey buddy, you feel less shy yet?” 

Karkat shook his head, “I’m not shy, I’m just…uncomfortable. They make me uncomfortable.”

You find your arm making it’s around Karkat’s neck, “You don’t have to be, they’re my friends, remember?”

“But…” He trailed off, you don’t really know where he was going, you wonder if he did either. 

“Just act like you always Karkat, you’re such a good troll.” He nodded, but the worried look never left his eyes. Dinner was comprised of thinly chopped steak over rice with vegetables. “Hey guys, dinner!” You called into the kitchen. You served your friends and yourself before taking out a small bowl and filling it with Karkat’s dinner, as well as refilling his water. 

“That’s a joke right?” Dave asked when you handed over the bowl to Karkat. “He doesn’t actually eat that does he?”

“Yeah? It’s troll food…” You watched him slink away, he regained that ashamed look he had on earlier. 

“I suppose that’s another thing you get ‘used’ to?” 

“Well…it’s what his body can handle. I tried giving him human food; it just makes him really sick.” 

“John’s right Dave, the trolls I work with eat the same thing! It’s not that weird!” She pulled the shaded boy back to the living room. “Hee hee you have to stop worrying about John’s troll, he’s fine. John’s a great owner it looks like.”

“But it’s so fucking wrong. I mean how can you guys just sit here knowing that he can think and speak? And he’s over there in a dog bed eating dog food.”

“It’s not dog food, and that bed is better than the floor.” You defend yourself and sit down. “Can we please stop discussing Karkat? If I had known he’d cause so much trouble I would have had him stay in my room all day.” You heard Karkat whimper from his bed, “Oh fuck, Karkat, you’re fine, it’s not your fault.” Quickly you put a movie in to distract everyone.

It worked for a while too. Everyone went back to making silly remarks about the characters on screen and the dialogue. No one seemed to notice when Karkat sat down by your feet and leaned against your leg either. Your hand pet his head softly and he stared off into space, not really watching the movie. When it was over you offered to take everyone’s plates back to the kitchen. 

“It was really good John! You’re a great cook!” 

“Thanks!” You placed everything in the sink, “Hey Karkat grab your bowl too.” Your troll got up and handed over the bowl to you. He then retreated back to his bed. “Karkat you come sit by me again, no one really cares.”

He shook his head and you left him be. Dave walked over and knelt down by the troll, “Hey you, Karkat.”

Karkat glanced up at Dave and sat up. “What?”

“Do you like this? Being a pet?”

The troll looked from you to Dave then back to you. “Y-Yes.” He answered finally. 

“What?”

“I have a good owner, John is nice. He feeds me, buys me new things, and doesn’t yell at me.” Karkat flopped back and rolled over so his back was to Dave. “I have a good life, nothing else matters.” 

Dave stood up, “Can you believe that shit?” He threw his arms up, “The idiot likes being treated like a dog. That’s sick, it’s wrong. Egbert you have to know it’s wrong.”

“Of course I do Dave.” You turned around and walked closer to your friend. “I would have to be an idiot to think that it isn’t.”

“Then why do you keep him?”

“I already told you, I don’t know.” Your voice was rising, something you weren’t accustomed to. 

“You don’t need him, why keep him?” You didn’t answer. “You like it, don’t you?” Your voice was still quiet. “You do, oh god, Egbert, you like ordering him around, the power. That is sick, that’s wrong.”

“No!” You scream. “No I don’t like it! How could I? But he didn’t leave me any choice. I tried being nice, I tried feeding him human food, I tried talking with and not ordering him around, I tried all of that. And you know what he did? He tried to kill himself! I can’t believe you’d even think I enjoyed taking care of him! That I enjoy telling him what to do and feeding him kibble. Do you think I like coming home to him? Do you think I find pleasure in knowing that he sleeps in a pile of blankets in my living room?” Your hands were shaking and your voice was trembling.

“Then why don’t you just get rid of him? Bro it’s not that hard.” 

“Yes it is!” You shouted again. “I can’t just let him go. He’s become a part of my life.” You fell silent. “And maybe…and maybe you were right. There is a part of me that enjoys it. Deep down I like ordering him around and I like the power. It’s sick and wrong and makes me feel like throwing up every time I step in through that door. And I can’t do anything about it.”

“John…” Rose tried to move closer to him. 

“It’s because of you Karkat! You made me this way! I can’t even stand looking at you sometimes!” You didn’t even comprehend the words flowing from your mouth; you just shouted and wanted everything bad to go away. “It’s all your fucking fault! I hate you!” You could feel yourself start to cry, “It’s your fault too Dave, and Rose, and even you Jade. If you guys had helped me more, if I hadn’t been so damn lonely, maybe I wouldn’t have bought the fucking thing. I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this!”

“John stop!” Jade cried out, she was kneeling next to Karkat’s bed. “You’re freaking him out.”

You looked over in Karkat’s direction. You could see your troll shaking, and he was crying too. “I’m sorry.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry.” He repeated. 

Instantly all the anger you had dissipated. You ran over to him and hugged him tight, “Oh shit, Karkat, I didn’t…fuck.” You felt his claws dig into your arm and he shook.

“I’ll be better, I’ll be a better pet, Master I’m sorry.” 

“Shhhhh Karkat, you’re fine.” You brushed the hair from his face and looked into his eyes. “You’re doing great, I’m the problem, it’s ok.”

Jade stood up, “It’s not fair to do this to them. Owning a troll is something that people don’t think about.” She continued, “Most think they’ll just be another pet, a companion, someone to keep them company. What they don’t realize, what John probably didn’t realize, is how close to humans they are. You don’t work with them like I do; you don’t know how hard it is to treat them like animals. But I know.” She looked back down at you and your quivering troll. “It’s tough and hardly anyone understands.” She placed a hand on your back, “We should have been there for John, he’s right. We weren’t so we’re just as much at blame here.” 

You continued to rub Karkat’s back but your own tears wouldn’t stop flowing from your eyes. “Karkat leaned over and quickly licked your face. He tried to purr, to calm you down, but the noise wouldn’t work. 

Dave watched the whole scene, “This just isn’t right, this isn’t fucking right. You’re not supposed to be ok with him licking your face like that. How can that be right?”

You were crying now, full out. Somehow you heard Karkat start to growl.

It got louder until he began to speak. “I’m sorry that my reactions bother you. I’m sorry I was fucking trained to behave like this. That I have no instincts of my own. And I have no way to communicate besides whimpering or chirping, or growling, or fucking purring. I’m sorry that I can’t be human like you. I’m sorry I was born a troll and you find this disturbing. But you know what? That Jade human was right, it’s not all my fault; it’s not all my Master’s fault either. You are all to blame.” He hugs you closer and continues to growl and talk. “It’s not my fault we’re raised this way, and it’s not my fault that John bought me. I can’t help my training, and I can’t help how other people treated me.” He sunk his head down and rested it against yours. You’d never heard Karkat say so much. You’d never heard him so defiant. 

The troll started shaking and you could tell he was crying too. You both sat there holding each other. “I’m sorry,” You say quietly, “I’m sorry I yelled, and I’m sorry you all had to see this.” You gripped your troll tightly, “There is something wrong with us, with both of us. I’m sorry.” Karkat clung tighter and you pressed into him even though your glasses bit uncomfortably into your face. 

You felt other arms around you as Jade hugged the two of you. Rose followed suit and even Dave. “No, we were wrong too.” Rose said quietly, “Even though I didn’t voice it, I was also disturbed by your behaviors, but…you really can’t help it.”

There was no way your voice would be steady, it shook when you answered with one simple word. “No.” 

Karkat’s rumbling voice was still trying to growl, “I don’t like this, but we can’t do anything.” 

“John, bro, I’m sorry too. I just…don’t know if I can understand.”

“If you owned a troll, you would.” You replied back. Before he could say anything you added, “But please don’t, please.”

“Wasn’t ever thinking of it.” He stood up and put a hand gently on Rose’s shoulder. “Come on, we should leave.”

Rose nodded and got up, “John we’re all staying in a hotel not far from here. I hope you’re ok for tomorrow’s plans. And, I’m really sorry about what happened.”

“I am too John,” Jade followed the others, “you’ll smile tomorrow right?” You nodded weakly and watched them leave.

When the door shut you collapsed on your troll. He let out a worried yelp and looked you over with concerned eyes. “Are you ok?”

“Yes Karkat.” 

He moved down next to you. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I’m sorry that you bought me. I’m sorry I changed you. I’m sorry you hate me.” 

“Karkat, no that’s not fair, I was mad, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“No, those were your true emotions and true thoughts. I can see it in you. You’re so exhausted from work, then you see me, and some days you grow even wearier.” You nod because he’s right. “I’m sorry I wasn’t what you expected when you purchased me, and I’m sorry nothing can be done about that now.”

“Karkat…” He slowly licked the other tears from your face. “I want you to know this, I won’t leave you, and I won’t let you die. We’re stuck with each other, ok?”

“Ok.” 

Eventually you got up and Karkat moved back to his bed. You pulled his blankets over him and he wearily drifted off to sleep. You retreated to your room and attempted to sleep yourself.

\---

Your name is Karkat Vantas and sometimes you dream.

You dream of a lot of things. You dream and dream every night. You see visions, and hear voices. Everything you see and hear has a hint of familiarity to it. You hear voices from the center, of the other trolls that were kept there. You thought it was just your brain putting random voices with the faces you saw in your dreams. Oddly enough you would dream of your Master’s voice before you knew him. You saw his face before he stopped in front of your cage at the center. You heard his friend’s voices too, before you knew they were even real.

They used to be abstract dreams. 

But now, now they are becoming clearer and clearer.

What you see however still makes no sense to you. 

Especially the wide expanse of checkerboard ground and brilliant blue sky filled with clouds that show you more than you could have ever dared to understand.


	3. Chapter 3

You're dreaming again.

It's hard to understand just what it is you dream of. There are fragments of scenes, things that almost seem to be recollections. A strange language, one you can almost make out…it's full of growls of clicks and noises you know your throat can make.

There's a planet. One with a red-ish sky and moons of green and purple. Trolls live on this planet, trolls like you. Only…these trolls are free. Humans don't even seem to exist. You know this is a dream, something so perfect can only exist in your mind.

The scene shifts, your mind blanks for a second, two, then it's bright. So bright. Quickly your eyes adjust to the cruel light and the surrounding area becomes clear. Black and white checkerboard ground stretches out over the rolling hills and strange mountains of this new world. There are trees and rivers and a soft breeze.

The breeze…

Where is it coming from? It seems so…familiar?

Your eyes strain against the light in sky and you see something in-between the clouds that show you images more confusing than your dreams.

You see a blue hooded figure floating amongst the clouds.

Then…you wake up.

It's morning, you can tell. Your master is awake and moving around, sluggishly getting ready for work and school. Instead of getting up and helping you curl in tighter and ignore him. There's no point in you getting up anyways, he doesn't really need you in the morning. He kneels down by your bed and ruffles your hair. "Gosh you sure are lucky, getting to sleep in like that." Instincts kick in and you find yourself leaning into his touch. "It must be nice being a troll." He giggles and pulls your blanket up over your shoulders and quietly leaves the apartment.

A whimper rises up in your throat as he leaves and you struggle to suppress it. "Aw don't worry Karkat, I'll be back tonight!" You weren't worried, you weren't even sad he was leaving, but you were at the same time. Deep down you couldn't help but be filled with anxiety as soon as he walked out the door. Instead of dealing with your fucked up brain you growled and turned back into your blankets. The bed you slept on was soft, but you knew it could be softer, it could be better. You knew this, but what could you do? Your master tried his best, and he was really nice to you. That's all that mattered in the end you guess.

Eventually you got up and wandered over to the shower. Your master always told you to take care of your own personal hygiene, or at least what you could do. There was no way you could wander down to the street and get your hair cut on your own. But you could do things like shower, wash your hair, and clip your own claws. After drying off you found a little bowl of your food that your master had left out. He said you could always eat when you were hungry, but that goes against the rules. Trolls like yourself don't feed themselves you only eat when your master gives you food.

There are thoughts of course, as you eat, where you wonder if he'll come home. He could get hit by a car, or murdered on the way to work; he could never walk in that door again. What would you do? Your training never specified what you were supposed to do if your master died and you didn't know. You hoped that maybe someone would find you. Possibly they'd call the center and you'd be returned to them. You highly doubt your master left any instructions for your care if he were to pass away.

It's then that you realize that you really are nothing more than property. If no one comes to your rescue your only option is to sit and wait for death. If John abandoned this house you'd never know. He wouldn't come back and slowly you'd starve to death. There's a horrible anxiety that comes with knowing that when your master walked out that door, he might not come back. Even if someone did find you they wouldn't have to tell you what happened to him. For all you know, he could have died, or he could have left you.

It's not like it would have been the first time you were abandoned.

Or the first time a master has died.

Humans have done nothing for you. Absolutely nothing. They've left you beaten and broken. You're not even sure if there's anything you want to live for anymore. Before…well, before all that shit happened to you, you used to love waking up every morning and greeting your master. You loved to be by her side and help her with everything.

She was so nice. So fucking nice. Your master would sing to you, and tell you all about the world. The stories she told were the best. It's a shame you can't remember most of them. It's a shame your brain blocks out your childhood.

If humans hadn't broken you, you'd probably still wake up with the same enthusiasm to serve. But now...if you didn't have it hardwired into your brain that you have to be obedient, you would take great pleasure in killing every last human on this planet. The best part would be ripping apart their soft flesh with your claws and laughing as their blood spills into the streets and clogs the sewers with their filth.

That's nothing more than wishing though. You'd never be able to harm a human; you'd never be able to lay a finger on your master. You're brain isn't yours anymore. You're pretty much an animal, a dog with occasional thoughts. Actually you're never sure if you had a brain to start with. You were born to be a pet, your whole race only has one job, and that's to serve humans. As far as you know, that's how it's always been, and that's how it always will be.

Dreams of planets where you are free are just that. Dreams.

Master comes home late, it's normal for a day midweek. He's so tired, always exhausted. You don't hate John, he's your master and he does a good job. Serving him isn't bad; at least you have something to do. He collapses on the couch and sighs. He looks at you after you pick yourself up and sit beside the couch. He ruffles your hair affectionately and you press your head against his side.

"How are you today buddy?" You respond by licking his hand quickly and growling lightly. "Ah, I take it you had a good day then?" He looks away and presses his head against a pillow. You lay down next to the couch and his arm lazily hangs over the edge and runs up and down your back. "I wish my life was as easy as yours Karkat. I really do." You don't say anything, just close your eyes and focus on the feeling of your master's hand on your back. "Because it would be so much easier to just forget everything. It must be nice to live with only one goal…"

One of your eyes opened and glanced upward, but your master had slipped into sleep. His hand still hung over the edge and rested on your back. So badly you wanted to tell him that this life sucked. It wasn't fun or easy or even a nice break. You wanted to say so much to him, but you couldn't. There's no way the instincts that have been ground into you would allow something like that. You have rules ingrained in everything that makes you, you. These rules must not be broken.

Deciding to sleep too was probably a good idea. It prevented your brain from doing any more thinking and maybe, just maybe you'd enter that dream world again with the voices speaking a language you almost knew.

Your stomach woke you up this time. There were no dreams during your nap, only a blank void. Your master was still fast asleep; the poor kid works himself half to death every day. Your stomach growls again and carefully you sit up. The clock on the cable box says nine thirty. It's way past your feeding time, no wonder you feel like you're starving. A series of whimpers escape your lips and you prod your master gently with your hand.

He wakes up and wearily mumbles, "K-Karkat? What do you want?" You whimper again and nudge his hand with your head. He fumbles for his glasses and looks at your face then at the clock. "Shit…it's late. I bet you want food right?" You nod. "Sorry about that Karkat, I fell asleep." He stumbles into the kitchen and pulls out a bag of your kibble and pours it sloppily into a bowl and hands it to you. Then he moves to his room and collapses on his bed again.

Concern for your master wins out over hunger and you walk quietly to his room. He hadn't eaten yet; you bet he's as hungry as you are. But he seemed too worn out to make something for himself. His glasses are still on his face and he's still dressed in his street clothes. You notice he's not even under the blankets. Quickly and carefully you remove his glasses and try to pull some of the blankets over him. 'How hard do you work…you come home every day more dead looking than the last…' Quietly you whimper again and leave the room.

The bowl of food looked unappetizing, like usual. You took it and retreated to your corner. Lazily you picked up small pieces of kibble and ate. It was dry and mostly tasteless. You guess there were hints of meat flavoring in it. Each one would crack or explode and suck the remaining moisture from your mouth. Not to mention the fact that the kibble was very hard to eat. You had sharp teeth, like all trolls. None of your teeth were designed to grind, only to slice. Eating your food was a difficult task that took a bit of time to get used to. Lining up the small chunks of kibble with one of your pointed teeth wasn't an easy or enjoyable task. Often times you'd wonder why they designed your food like this. The most logical answer would be because of ease. Your food was probably produced in the same plant that would make dog or cat food. It was probably simpler to make everything for pets into kibbles. Because no matter how human you look, you're not a human. You're a pet.

After eating your whole bowl and returning the empty container to the kitchen you decide it's time for bed again. Deep down there's something that tells you that you should be awake right now. That sleeping during the night is wrong. You pull one of the shades up from the window and look outside. From your master's apartment you can see the whole city. You can also see the moon. Your one, pale white moon.

It's full tonight. Your eyes are drawn to the milky circle in the sky. When you stare at the moon and the stars everything melts away. For a minute you're not Number 612: Karkat Vantas. You're nothing and everything all at once. Your heart beats with anticipation and you seem to swell with unexplainable excitement. Freedom is out there among the stars. Out there is a whole universe. Maybe your planet is out there? Maybe somehow, you'll get to it. You'll find your place among the stars and planets and you'll find freedom.


	4. Chapter 4

You're hesitant around him now. It's morning and the sun is just peaking up over the city. After the argument yesterday and all the shouting you feel like shit. He's still curled up on his bed on the floor in your living room. Karkat's chest is rising and falling slowly as he breathes. He's your pet, and your responsibility, a small chuckle escapes your lips, you remember when your dad would tell you to take care of the fish, or the cat you had growing up. Karkat's not like a fish though; you can't just feed him and walk away. Also, you joke darkly with yourself, you can't really flush his body down the toilet if he dies.

It's way too early for you to be up, sunrise isn't the time to be sorting out your emotions, you can hardly stand upright. But you manage to slip on pants and shirt and walk back out into your living room. Your friends aren't going to come back for a few more hours; your plans were set to start around noon. This gave you ample amounts of time to straighten yourself out.

Karkat's always quick to catch your movements and sounds, he was sleeping deeply but as soon as your hand touched his leash the troll was sitting upright and staring at you. "Hey Karkat, we're going to go for a walk ok?" You shrugged on your jacket. It was always surprising how fast he was able to get up and be ready. He hardly looked tired at all. The tags on his collar jingled when you hooked the metal clasp on it and gently you pulled him through the door. Your troll is always so well behaved, his collar and leash seem stupid to you, but you suppose he could hypothetically run away from you if you didn't have him leashed.

He's silent, you know there something he wants to say, you can tell. He follows you obediently out into the parking lot. The air is cold and crisp as winter blows in. There are a few brown leaves that roll lazily across the pavement. Both you and Karkat's breath come out in little puffs as you breathe in and out. You're not really sure where you're going on this chilled morning, but you walk anyways. Karkat trails behind you as you walk and he doesn't make any indications that he's mad or even feeling anything at all.

You decide to go to the park, it's deserted at this hour and the open field surrounded by small groups of trees seems like the perfect place to go to clear your head. There's a part of you that wonders if bringing your troll was the right idea. Perhaps you should have kept him at home and used this time on yourself only. He doesn't say anything, so you suppose you could ignore him. Treat it like a normal walk and nothing else. After entering the main gate you pick at bench and sit down. Karkat hesitates and decides to sit on the ground beside you. "Karkat, you can sit up here if you want."

He looks up at you with eyes dead and blank. You hear his collar jingle again and he sits awkwardly beside you. "Are you ok?" You ask, he seems too different today, he seems too lifeless. Karkat nods and stares off into space. "So…I was thinking about what happened last night," your voice trails off and you wonder if this is even worth discussing.

Surprisingly Karkat's voice breaks the silence. "You don't have to think about anything. I'm your pet, your troll. You are my master. What happened last night was nothing more than you stating your feelings about your property," his voice was soft, his eyes still distant. "If you're mad at me yell at me, if you're happy tell me I'm good, if I do something wrong punish me. If you…if you feel like beating me, go ahead and strike. I'm your plaything, your toy, your pet. I'm not human so please stop treating me like one."

"I can't, Karkat you know I can't, you have feelings too, you-"

He growls beside you angrily, "I thought we fucking went through this? My 'feelings' don't mean shit. I don't have any. If you think I do then you're stupid."

"But…Karkat right now, you're angry and hurt and-"

"It's not real Master," he says quietly, "everything I am is an imitation to mimic humans. I don't feel anything. I never have."

You know he's lying, he has to be lying, "But you were crying yesterday, and you often pin your ears back at me and growl when I'm being stupid…"

"I was crying because I was scared. There's a difference."

Pausing you think back to that night, "You were scared?"

Your troll nods, "Of course. My master was screaming at me, my master was unhappy with me. Any troll would be scared of that."

"But I didn't really mean it…" He growls again and you re-think what you just said. "Ok, maybe I did mean parts…but it's not you I hate, it's the idea of you. You know?"

"Unfortunately I do," you could almost hear a touch of bitterness to his words.

"Do you think we'll ever be normal?" He didn't answer, "You know, like friends?"

Karkat frowned, "No."

You were going to ask why but you knew the answer. He's a pet and you're the owner. You lean back and let your head rest against the back of the bench. There are small rays of sunshine poking through and illuminating the dull world around you. The wind blows softly and you shiver when it runs through your hair. "You defended me yesterday, you defended yourself, doesn't that mean anything?"

"A guard dog will defend its territory. A troll with defend its master," Karkat added, "my words mean nothing, or they should mean nothing. I am sorry you bought me, you aren't meant to be an owner, that much is clear."

He faced away from you and drew his knees up on the bench. "Why is that?"

"You're too kind," he whispered.

There was silence for a long time after that. Karkat didn't protest or complain he just sat next to you and watched the scenery around him grow gradually lighter. After a long time you pulled him up and started walking again. You moved away from your apartment and strolled down some of the smaller city streets. You passed by other houses, you could see their trolls up and doing stuff around the houses. Some were getting the mail and others were hanging laundry to dry in the cold breeze. It all seemed so normal to you. It all seemed sickly right. The others trolls didn't look in your direction, they didn't call out to Karkat like a dog would bark at another dog. In fact it was almost as if every troll you passed was sad and defeated. Almost like they knew nothing was going to come from their lives or any other troll's life. Karkat kept his eyes trained on you or the space in front of you.

It must have been hours since you left your home. Time didn't mean much to you at the moment, your brain was ready to explode and the stress was driving you insane. You just wanted to scream until your throat was raw and your lungs refused to work. For the most part your walk was silent, but Karkat's whimpers disrupted that. Curious you turned around and wondered what he was making noise about. He seemed fine, shaking a bit, but fine. That's when you noticed where you were. You were back at the center.

You stood in the parking lot just staring at the front door. Dave's words echo in your head, and he was right, it would be so easy to bring him back. The simple way out would be dropping him off right here, right now and walking away, but you're not sure if you can. He whimpers again quietly. "I could leave you here Karkat," you tell him. "I could dump you here at the center and walk away."

Your grip on his leash tightens as you seriously begin to contemplate leaving him. "You were cheap Karkat, only a hundred dollars. You were also the thing that ruined my life and twisted my mind. I'm sure I'd be able to go back to normal after getting rid of you." That's when you feel Karkat press his face into your back and whimper pitifully.

"Please don't," he chokes out. "You are a good master, the only good master."

"I don't have to listen to you," he nods, agreeing. "In fact; you just said you don't have emotions, so I shouldn't feel moved at all by your words."

He nods again and offers up, "You're the first good master I've had in eight years."

"You could get another one, one that isn't me," you heard Karkat's breath catch and felt his body lock up.

"Last night you told me you wouldn't get rid of me, that you'd stick with me forever."

"A lot can change overnight." Your voices were both barely above a whisper.

"You promised."

That particular thought didn't register with you like it should have, "I made a promise to a pet, like you said."

That's when you felt the leash go tight and Karkat slumped to the ground. "No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No." He repeated over and over again curling into himself. "Fuck. Fuck. No. Bad. Fuck. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."

Kneeling by his side you put a careful hand on his back, "What's wrong with you?"

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Be better. Please. No. No. NO." He was shaking and quivering with tears streaming from his eyes. The troll kept muttering and repeating words in rapid succession. You looked up from him then to the doors of the center then back at your troll. Gently you tugged on his leash and urged him up. "No. No. Cant' go back. Won't go back. Please. Be good. Good. Fuck. Fuck. Sorry. No. NO. Please."

You tugged him again, "Come on, Karkat, up." He refused to move and continued to repeat words. You can feel yourself start to get mad.

"Scared. No. Don't make me. Please. No. No. FUCK."

"Karkat get up," you order again and tug on his collar. He stays put, you're not sure if it's defiance or not, "Karkat, now. I'm not joking." You pull again. "I haven't had any sleep, you're not helping Karkat, up!" He's shaking so bad and won't leave the cold parking lot floor. A car startles you and honks, you realize you're in the middle of the lane and need to move. Everything comes crashing in on your brain. The car honks again and you panic."Karkat!" You yell, "Get up! Now!" He still refuses to move and for the first time ever you strike him. His breath leaves his lungs as your foot connects with his side. "Karkat!" You shout his name.

He looks up at you with wide yellow eyes. There are still red tear tracks running down his face. "Sitting on your ass like that isn't helping. At all." Your words are cold and harsh. One more time you pull his leash and yank him off the ground. "Move!" His feet stumble beneath him as he scrambles to stand. You pull again making him stumble and walk toward the car that honked at you. "Hey sorry about that, my troll is acting up. He's not like this usually, sorry you had to see that." The man in the seat nods and drives on.

You decide to take Karkat back.

The center hasn't changed, not one bit in the half year since you bought Karkat. A lady at the front desk sees you and your troll offers a greeting in a friendly voice. "Hello, how may I help you?" She spots Karkat, "I see you already have a troll Sir, are you here for a second? I would recommend against it, but occasionally two actually benefit each other."

Shaking your head you step forward, "No not really looking for another. I'm actually thinking of getting rid of this one," you gesture at Karkat.

"What's wrong with him?" She asks.

"Nothing, I'm just not feeling it," you didn't want to make Karkat look bad; you remember he already had several bad scores from a prior owner. "He's fine, a good troll, but I don't really want him anymore."

The girl looks from Karkat to you and says thoughtfully, "How long have you had him? It seems he's already quite attached to you. Breaking a bond is hard on a troll; they are not bred for that type of stress." You reply with how long you've had Karkat, "If you would like, you can walk around the center and look at the other trolls. It will give you some time to think and, if you so choose, give me time to prepare the paperwork for your troll's return."

A side door opens and you drag Karkat behind you. He's whimpering again and has his face pressed against your back. "Come on Karkat, enough of this." He shakes his head and keeps it pressed firmly to your back. Surprisingly his cage was still empty, the cramped cell looks just how he left it, a small food bowl in the corner next to a water dish, now dried out, and a ragged blanket on the cold cement floor. Even his nameplate is still hung by the door. Karkat doesn't look at cage, but you know he can smell it. He knows where you are.

Once again you walk by the rows of trolls; they come up to the bars eagerly and greet you. They are all so polite, unlike the troll you bought. These all have life in their eyes and an eagerness to serve. There is no one leading you from cage to cage so you can take your time. Each troll is different, and now you understand the color swatches above their cages, it's their blood color. You also know now that highbooded trolls get better accommodations as well as the higher price tag. Cage by cage you walk by. Watching the hopeful eyes of the trolls you pass makes you feel guilty. You're not here to bring one home, you're not here to give one a chance and get it out of the small cage. The reason you're here is to put one back in.

You wonder how long some of these trolls have been waiting, hoping for what you've given to Karkat. Your troll said he was at the center for two years before being put up for slaughter. You hope that Karkat won't be there that long; you hope he'd find a new master and new corner to fall asleep in. You meet the girl back up front.

"Are you still interested in signing your troll back over to us? Or would you like to exchange him? Perhaps keep him?"

"N-No, I'm ready to give him up." The most pained sound comes from Karkat. "I just can't deal with him anymore."

"That's a shame," she comments, "he seems really attached to you. You don't see that often. But it's your choice Sir." The girl hands you some papers to fill out. Karkat sits on the floor beside you, firmly pressed against your leg. He's silent now, and you can already see that the glassy dead look has taken over his eyes again.

The paperwork is really easy; you make sure to fill out a really good report for Karkat. You want the poor troll to have the best chance at finding an owner quickly. The girl smiles and takes the papers from you, "We hold all trolls for one week before putting them up for sale again. This gives people a few days for the separation to set in and time for them to decide if they are comfortable with the choice." You nod and hand over the twenty five dollar holding fee. "If you do not decide to pick you troll up in the week he will be put up for sale and if you still want him you will have to pay for him a second time. Is this clear?"

"Yes, perfectly."

"Ok then," she stepped out from the counter and around a side door; she knelt down and unclasped your tag from Karkat's collar, the one that said 'Property of John Egbert', "this is yours." The cold metal hit your hand and your fingers closed around it. "Would you like to say goodbye?" You nod and she pulls on Karkat's leash again. He stands obediently and follows the woman to the rows of cages again.

As predicted he goes right back where he once was. She unhooks the leash from his collar and hands it to you then grabs a bag of food and pours it in the bowl and fills the water dish up as well. "So, uh, this is it buddy. I hope you find a new home soon," you reach over to pet his head a final time. Pain explodes from your hand as the troll's teeth clamp down on it. "Ow! Fuck! Karkat let go!" You try to pull your hand away but he clamps down harder.

The lady turns around and presses her fingers to the base of one of Karkat's horns, the troll faints immediately. "Are you ok Sir?" You nod and remove your hand from his jaws. "Sorry about that, sometimes trolls get aggressive when a master leaves them. They can sense a bond is about to be broken and that scares them or makes them anxious, often times they strike out in violence especially if they feel like they are being betrayed. It's the one violent trait we haven't been able to completely breed out of them yet." She helps you up and you leave the enclosure where Karkat is passed out. "He'll be fine, in a few minutes he'll wake up." She bandages your hand and tells you to get it looked at by a doctor if it swells.

You take one last look at your troll; he's still passed out and looks so small in his cage. Your eyes linger on him for a few more minutes before you turn your back and leave the center for good. His leash is in your hand but there's no longer anything attached to it. There's a freedom you can't explain. Almost instantly you feel lighter. Karkat is no longer a problem of yours. He's gone, and you'll probably never see him again. You imagine he'll get a good owner, one that can order him to do what makes him happy and one that will be able to pay enough attention to him.

The apartment comes into view and you jog briskly up to it, your watch says it's almost noon, hopefully you'll have time to shower and get dressed properly before you friends arrive. There's a throbbing in your hand that with every heartbeat reminds you of the troll you left behind at the shelter. His tag gets tossed on your dresser, you hear it hit with a metallic clang. A hot shower clears your mind and you disinfect the puncture wounds on your hand and re-bandage it up. Then you move to the living room and toss all of Karkat's belongings into the guest room. You'll throw the bed out later, or maybe give it away or something. His bowls are next to get tossed in the room. You throw away the food, no use keeping it around and you're not going to give away old food.

With each item you toss and each thing of Karkat's hidden from view you can feel yourself get happier. 'He's not mine; my life can go back to normal. I can go back to normal.' You can't believe it, you won't have to feed him, or scratch his head. No longer will you have to stare into those intelligent eyes as he eats kibble from a dog bed. Finally you can end your sick power trip and focus on things like school or work.

On your way back from the floor dumpster your friends greet you. "Hey guys!" You run up to meet them by the elevator. "You're early again!" You smile and show them inside.

"John what happened to your hand?" Rose is the first to notice your new injury.

You laugh and are about to answer when Jade interrupts, "Where's Karkat?"

"Did he bite you?" Dave asks.

"Well, yeah, but that's not why he's gone," you try to explain but your friends just stare at you. "I gave him back to the center this morning." You grin proudly, "As of an hour ago I am no longer the owner of Karkat."

"Why would you do that?" Jade spins around glaring. "Idiot!"

"What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *FunFact: Karkat's violent reaction when John left him is actually a throwback to the instinct trolls had to protect their Matesprit. He's angry, confused, and anxious, like a troll would be if the bond between their Matespirt was destroyed. Only instead of their Matesprit it was there master. It's probably the one thing that can't be bred out of them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Karkat chapter.

When you awoke your senses went overboard. There were so many scents, so many small sounds; you didn't know what to do or where to look. So you force your eyes shut and curled into a tighter ball. Once again you felt the sick side effects of having your submission reflex triggered. Everything was fuzzy but you knew where you were.

The center.

You're back at the center.

The fucking center.

Sounds are all around you. People are moving about, filling food containers and putting water in jugs, you can hear other trolls moving around, some whimpering, some growling even chirping in some cases. Your ears twitch and you pin them back in annoyance. Someone starts banging something on the bars of your cage.

"Hey Karkat! What did I tell you? You're destined to die here," the male voice laughed. "Jeez little freak troll, what's the matter?" You growled softly at the voice and didn't look over at him. "Hahahaha! You little fuck! How dare you growl at me?" The door to your cage opened and he stepped in. You felt yourself leave the ground as the man lifted you up by your shirt. You were still out of it and you knew your face gave you away. "You little shit! Are you getting off on this?"

You shook your head weakly and closed your eyes. The male ran his hand down your side, all your nerves were suddenly firing and every part of you was alert. "F-Fuck," you gasped.

"What was that? Did you just swear at me?" He moved his hand further down, and that caused you to chirp against your will. He laughed harshly and tossed you to the floor where you curled in on yourself again. He slammed your cage shut and walked away laughing. Your face was red and your head was pounding but all you could do was curl in tight and wait for it to pass. 'I really am a disgusting fuck.'

Your face was hot and flushed and you could feel your heat beat everywhere. Breath escaped your lips in short bursts and you were extremely light headed. Your purring couldn't be stopped and neither could the occasional chirp. It was embarrassing as hell, knowing you couldn't even control your own body. So you laid on the floor of your cage, curled up in a ball, and tried to block out the sounds of the other trolls at the center. They knew full well what your body was doing and some were laughing. It got to the point where it actually hurt, not only your body, but the knowledge that others were gaining amusement from your suffering. But like any other reaction it died down and you were finally able to think clearly and get ahold of your situation. 

The center was exactly how you remembered it. The same things happened every day. Schedules did not change at all. In the morning the staff would come through and fill your food bowl and water dish. They would make sure every troll was alive and not sick. Simple interactions would be attempted for trolls that would socialize. You don't socialize. Then the center would open and humans would come through and look at you and the other trolls. Above your number was a slip that reserved you for one week. With all your hope you wished that John would come back for you. But as the days slipped by your hopes died.

Each day you would wake with an eagerness to see your former master. His scent was still on you, and there was a regret that lingered too. The taste of his blood was still fresh in your mind. You didn't mean to bite him; you were scared, and angry. You were still angry, but you didn't blame John, you never blamed him. He wasn't ready to own a troll, you're not sure he'll ever be ready. But you still wanted him. You still missed his gentle voice and soft touch.

But soon the card above your nameplate was removed and other humans took your cage seriously. You did your best to look sick and unappealing. Deep down you really didn't want another owner, you didn't want to suffer again, all three owners you've had have made you suffer. You were tired of it. The humans that worked at the center tried to sell you, but after a while they gave up too. All but one girl. You think her name was Jane, but you're not sure.

"Hey, 612, are you ok?"

You lifted your head and looked over at the girl by your cage. "Fine."

"You have to work a little bit 612, if you don't you'll be put on death row again. None of us want that."

"I do."

"Come on; please promise me you'll at least look presentable from now on."

"No."

She sighed and left. You had hoped that would have been the end of it, but she came back day after day and tried to talk to you. She always tried so hard to get you to open up, but nothing seemed to work. You didn't want a new master; you didn't want to be jerked around anymore. Death was once again the only thing you looked forward too.

Your first master left you.  
So did your second.  
Even John did.

What was the point? You'd just get thrown away again. The people at the center were right; there was something wrong with you. There's something deeply wrong with you and that's why no one wants you. You're too fucked up in the brain and there's no hope anymore.

Sometimes that girl had a day off, you really hated those days. There was a man that worked at the center; he was actually a nice guy to the other trolls there. Just not to you. You've been dealing with him for years. It was always the same; he would taunt you or step into your cage to rough you up. The center didn't really care; you were considered a waste of space and money. Your blood was the lowest on the scale and they made very little when they did manage to sell you.

It was a normal day, the workers moved through and fed and watered you. But one set of feet always stopped. "Hey freak troll, what's new?" You tried to ignore him; you tried to seem helpless and worthless. Never did it work. "You taking to ignoring me now?" He kicked your side roughly, "Hey I'm talking to you! I heard you back there, you can speak you little shit. Why go mute now?"

You flattened your ears in defeat and whimpered. He laughed, "You poor pathetic creatures! It's amazing how fucked over you all are. I can't believe some people see you as equals." He attached a chain to your collar and yanked you up. "Come on cur, it's bath time again."

Bath time, it was supposed to be nice, it was supposed to be relaxing. There were warm showers and soft towels, unless you got picked by him. All that awaited you was cold water, maybe lukewarm if he was feeling fucking nice. He was never nice though. "Get in there!" he shoved you roughly and turned on the water. It was a shock to your system; you were always hyper alert during this. Quickly you washed yourself and your hair before the shivering set in. No towel was given to you, and if you didn't hurry he'd just yank on your chain and force you out still covered in suds.

Then it's back in your cage. You have to resist every instinct to dry yourself off with your blanket; if you get that wet then the night will be very long and very cold. So instead you picked at your food and wrapped your arms around your legs and air dried. It wasn't the best, but at least you were clean. Your eyes would follow the other humans as they passed by your cage and moved on to other trolls. Overhearing the conversations between the humans was interesting. They would talk about you, or ask questions. The people working would go over your history and immediately the human would lose interest. Most were only curious about why you were so cheap.

However, there were some useful things you overheard as well. Like a little piece of information that said you wouldn't be put to death for a few years. It seems like someone argued for you to have a chance. Sometimes if you were having an up day and you spotted a human looking for a new troll alone you would purr softly from your corner and hope someone heard or noticed you. It worked on some people, but on others they simply passed you by. Most days you wouldn't even bother. Other trolls would pass by your cell; they had smiles on their faces and a new leash around their throat. Some person had decided on them, and they were finally getting a home.

A home is what you desperately wanted and cripplingly feared. You were bred to serve; all you wanted was to make a human happy. But every time you tried something always went horribly wrong and you failed your human and hurt yourself. You both desired and hated the humans that stopped at your cage to look at you.

The beatings got worse.

You're pretty sure he cracked a rib with the last kick. Your face looked terrible and you were broken and bleeding all over the floor. Candy red leaked from your nose and tears soaked your face. "You sniveling piece of shit. What is wrong with you? Do you like being beat? Is that it?" His laugh resonated through the hall. The other trolls shrunk back as far as they could. He cocked his leg back to kick one more time when another voice shouted from down the hall.

"Do not touch him, Jack this is your last warning." It was Jane; she had come to your rescue. "You know they can't fight back. Go beat up something else, maybe something that can put up a fight." She reached your cell and pushed him aside. "Good god, you could have killed him. Go get the medical supplies." He didn't move, Jane yelled, "Go get the damn supplies before I fire your worthless ass."

When he came back she ordered him away and informed him he'd be getting a department shift. "I hope he has fun answering telephones for the rest of his stay here," she growled to herself while patching you up. "Hey, Karkat, sit up." You complied and held a hand to your side. "You're going to have to move your hand, I need to wrap that." Gritting your teeth you moved and allowed her to secure the bandages over your chest. "Lucky for you trolls heal fast. You should be better in a week. Just don't get into any fights." She then dabbed at your face and put some antiseptic cream on the cuts. "You need to get out of here." She wrapped your blanket over your shoulders, "You are such a good troll, a nice troll, you deserve so much better than the shit you get here."

"No, there's something wrong with me, that's why I can never have a home. That's why I always end up back here." Your voice was quiet and your words seemed truth.

"You can do so much better 612 I mean Karkat," She ruffled your hair affectionately, "Will you please work hard on seeming adoptable? For me? I don't want to see you all torn up again." You couldn't stop yourself from purring at her touch. "See? You do want something nice, you deserve it Karkat. Just because you're type isn't listed in our variations of trolls doesn't mean you're worthless." She packed up her stuff and closed the door to your cage. "Please try? I know people won't be interested in you with you face all banged up, but after that?" You gave her a quick nod and flopped down to get some rest.

Every time your heart beat or you took a breath you could feel the damaged part of your chest. Once again you were overrun with the desire to kill any human that came within your grasp. You knew you never could, but the feeling was still there. However you woke up the next morning with a slightly better outlook and the mild compulsion to greet some of the humans at your cage. Jane was right, they didn't really take to your beaten face, but that would be gone in a few days. After it healed up you tried your hardest to get people to notice you. However everyone walked by you and went towards the higher blood colored trolls. The ones they believed to be bred better and serve more easily.

You would whine and whimper and purr against your bars. Jane was right, rotting away here wasn't worth it, maybe you could find a new home, and maybe, just maybe you wouldn't be tossed out like garbage. It was worth a shot, and if you failed, then you'd only be rewarded with the cold floor of center. Eventually you did catch the eye of several people, they stopped and greeted you. "Hi," you offered quickly. They would ruffle your hair and you would purr hoping to appeal to them. But after fingering through your booklet they all left. It seems your past wasn't easy to ignore.

Jane tried to help you too; she would bring people by your cage and make sure they stopped. But no one seemed to want you. After being rejected that many times you began to feel dejected. Like it wasn't really worth it after all. Maybe it wasn't, but you kept trying anyways. Now your days were spent back in the corner, you'd lift your head and chirp at whoever was passing by. That usually got some attention, chirping was always the most impressive sound effect. But not even that got people to consider buying you.

\---

"Hello, I'm looking for a troll for my kids," a woman walked up to the counter. She had short ebony hair and striking red lipstick. The way she held herself was proud and confidant. "Is that possible? Are trolls good babysitters?"

Jane looked up from behind the counter. "Why, yes actually, they can be. It depends on the children, and the type of troll you want. What exactly are you looking for?"

"My husband died a few months ago, and I have two small kids. I work full time, but I don't want to spend the money on daycare or a nanny, so I thought a troll might work. They are intelligent right?"

"Yes very. You just need something to watch your kids right?"

"Exactly. I don't want them getting hurt while I'm away, and I want something a bit more permanent than a nanny or daycare service. Am I at the right place?"

"Of course. Let me show you to the trolls," She guided the lady back to where the cages are. "We have a wide assortment of trolls; some are servants while others are kept as pets. I would recommend a servant type for your need." She walked the lady by the cages and stopped abruptly. "Actually, I think I know the perfect candidate."

\---

Jane was outside your cage again. "Karkat, there's a nice lady here to look at you," she called out. You lifted an eye and gave her a chirp.

"Why is he so far back?"

"He's really shy," Jane answered, "he's been through a lot. Three owners in his short life, but he's not a bad troll, actually he's really nice. Just unfortunate circumstances." She turned to his chart, "He's been double trained in being a servant as well as a pet. His last owner used him as a pet, but he can do basic math and read and write. He's very smart."

"He's cheap, is there a reason for that?"

"Oh, yes, his blood color is abnormal, it's not as vibrant as the other trolls and we expect him to have a shorter lifespan. We priced him that low to encourage people to purchase him." She turned back to you, "Karkat, come on, say hello. Please? This is your chance fella."

Slowly you got up and crawled your way over to the bars to lean against them. The new woman carefully pet your head. "He seems friendly. What was his name again?"

"Karkat," you reply.

"Oh? You do speak. That's good." She kept stroking your head, "Do you like children Karkat?"

"I don't know, I've never had to live with any," you spoke truthfully.

"Jane, do you mind if I bring my kids down to see if they like him? He's not a bad troll, and if you're correct, I'm getting a lot for my money."

"Yes, that should be fine," Jane watched the lady leave. "I think she liked you. I hope you get along well with kids." You nodded. "She wants to use you as a babysitter, that's better than nothing."

You nodded and retreated to the corner of your cell again. For the first time in a long while you had a bit of hope. The next day the lady returned, this time with two small children, you weren't good at guessing ages but you guessed one was about five or six while the other was six or seven. "Here, this is Karkat. Go say hi."

"Is he ours mama?" The older boy asked?

"Not yet, go see if you like him." She gently pushed the little girl forward to the cage. You got up and sat down by the bars. "He could be your new babysitter, so make sure you say hello."

"Hello Mr. Troll," the boy said.

"Hi Kat," the little girl waved.

You smiled and waved back. "He looks like a person!" The boy said and pointed at your face. "You sure he's a pet?"

"Yup, I am." You laughed a little and bowed your head for them to pet. "I'm a troll, not a human." The girl giggled when she felt your horns.

"You're weird Mr. Troll."

"My name is Karkat," you told him.

"Are you going to be our new babysitter?" He asked.

"If your mother purchases me," you replied.

He looked up eagerly at his mom, "Can you? Can we have him?"

She smiled, "if you like him, he seems to be ok. Can I open this?" She asked a worker. They nodded and unbolted the door.

You walked out and kneeled in front of the kids. "Will you play with us?"

"Yeah play with us!" The girl bounced around you.

The boy ended up taking you by surprise and tackling you to the floor. The woman looked shocked and worried, but you smiled up and let them climb over you. "What's that sound? Is the troll ok?"

A different worker looked down at you, "Oh, he's purring, that's a happy noise. Not all trolls can make it."

"Well then, I guess you get along great with my kids."

Your instincts weren't lying; you actually did enjoy the little kids. Though you had a quick unexplainable flashback to a moment where you were covered in weird bugs with troll heads. You were pretty sure you hated that…whatever it meant. You were jolted back to reality when the lady called to you. "You should get off the floor Karkat and follow me." You did so, waiting as a staff member attached a chain to your collar. You followed obediently behind the lady that was about to become your new master. Immediately after entering the same room where John purchased you, you sat down by her leg. Purring you made sure to rub against it and show you were happy. You were rewarded with a gentle smack to the side of your head. "Don't do that," she commanded. "You are not a pet type anymore."

You nodded and stood up, quickly moving to stand behind your soon to be master. "Sorry."

Instead of an unknown lady checking you out, you noticed Jane. She pulled up the paperwork and had the older lady sign a few sheets. "Now, do you know the rules for keeping a troll?" She shook her head, "Alright, there are few important ones I'll brief you on now."

She walked up to you and gestured at your horns, "All trolls have a built in submissive reflex, it can be triggered if you press down on the base of their horns. You shouldn't need to use it with him though, he's very mild tempered. Moving on," she pointed at her children, "Trolls are made to serve humans, so even though your kids are small, they are still humans and he will obey any command they give him. Since he will be performing the duties of a babysitter it would be best to put in some commands where he recognizes you as the top. Lay down some ground rules that he must never break even if ordered by another human. I would also have a little chat with your children and tell them not to confuse the troll too much." She then grabbed your hands, "Trolls are born with sharp teeth and fangs, they can be useful for defense and will protect their master at all cost. However we do advise owners to clip the claws of a troll short that way no accidents can occur." Jane moved across the room and pulled out a pamphl  
et and handed it to the lady. "This has all the other tiny rules listed. His former master reported he has a sensitive stomach so it would be best to buy him troll food as soon as possible."

She sat down and filled out more papers, "Just sign here and pay and he's all yours to take home."

The woman smiled gratefully and picked up your heavy chain, "Come on Karkat, let's get out of here." She pulled without hesitation, unlike John, and you followed her without question. She was your master now.

Your new master was different. She had a commanding aura to her. She seemed strong, moved with purpose. There was no doubt in your mind that she was a stern woman, and that she wouldn't hesitate to punish you or her kids. But there was also a softness in her eyes and mouth when she would look down at her kids. You reached her car and you started for the backseat, she pulled roughly on your chain. "You sit up front, next to me." You nodded and entered the passenger side door. "My two kids are named Jake," She gestured to the boy, "and Roxy." You nodded and fixed your eyes on the road in front of you. "My husband, their father, died recently. I'm not looking for pity; I need you to perform a service for me. Your job will be to watch my kids, they are my life. Make sure nothing happens to them."

"I understand. I will watch over them."

"Good, now, the lady at the center said you need a certain type of food, correct?" You nodded. "We'll swing by a pet store on the way home, you can tell me what you need, correct?" You nodded again. "You don't speak much," she stated.

"Trolls do not speak unless they need to. We stay quiet." 

"Oh, well that's pretty useful." She purchased everything you told her to buy from the start. You didn't bother with a bed, just a few blankets. The car was parked outside a large house. You don't think you've ever been inside a house that fancy before. There was a large TV against the wall above a fireplace and leather sofas around a glass table. The carpet was soft and the air warm and inviting. You looked to your new master and hugged your blankets close.

"Can I sleep in the corner?" You asked quietly.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Like a dog right?" You nodded and found a corner near the fireplace to curl up in. "Do you do anything?"

You shook your head and stretched out. Jake and the little girl Roxy ran over to you, "We got you food! Mr. Troll!" They plopped your bowl in front of you. "Are you hungry? Are you going to eat now? Does that taste good?"

Laughing you took the bowl of kibble and at a few pieces, "It's not bad, but humans don't eat it." They giggled and watched you with fascination. Jake was a bit bolder than Roxy and wanted to see your teeth. Lifting a lip you showed them your sharp fangs. "Every tooth I have is sharp."

"Woooow that's soooo cool!" Jake jumped up on your back and stuck his hands in your mouth. "Can you bite through steel?"

"No, I can't," you gently batted his hands away.

"Can you use your horns to ram into people?"

"I can't do that either," you were thankful that they seemed like nice kids. "Now you should probably help your mother with dinner, right?" Jake nodded and ran off.

"I'm too little to do dinner, so I'm going to watch TV. Do you watch TV Kitty?" You shook your head. "Come watch TV with me Kitty!" You smiled and sat obediently by the couch. She would giggle and point at the kids shows on the screen. Soon her mom, your master called her into the other room to eat. You returned to your small pile of blankets and tried to get used to the idea of living here with this new family.

The house was so big that you're pretty sure John's whole apartment could fit in the living room. Smells from dinner wafted in through the kitchen and your stomach growled angrily. The kibble didn't smell half as good as the food your new master was eating, you knew if you tried to eat what they did you'd be really sick. So instead you ate your kibble and drank the water in the dish. Then you rolled over and went to bed. Even though you hadn't done much the day was still very stressful for you. It was always difficult for you to adjust to new surroundings and new people. But these humans seemed nice, and maybe, just maybe you finally found a home. A warm peaceful home that you could live in.

The next morning was so different from what you were used to with John or with the center. It was hectic, your master was busy making breakfast and waking up the kids. You got yourself up after realizing you were no longer a pet type. "Do you need assistance?" You asked your master.

"Yeah that would be great, watch the stove, I'm going to wake up Jake and Roxy." You nodded and set to work making sure the eggs didn't burn. After she returned you helped with getting the basic chores done. You picked up the kitchen and set to work on the bathroom. After that you showered and bid your master a good day. Then it was just you and the kids. Technically you had to obey their orders as well. But your master had given you strict rules to follow. You were only allowed to go the park down the street and you couldn't let them boss you around or snack too much. You were given times for them to eat and take a nap.

They were really great kids, and they gave you zero problems. They ate what you made them and slept when you told them to. Briefly you wondered if they were scared of your teeth or something. Overall they were very well behaved and you could easily see yourself spending every day taking care of them and the house. If you were ever near the center again you have to make sure you thank Jane, she really came through for you.

"Hey Karkat," Jake said one afternoon, they had just finished lunch, "can we go on an adventure?"

"Yeah we should have enough time," going on an adventure was code for going to the park. You helped the kids into their snow gear as the season had shifted into winter while you were in the center. Your master was nice enough to buy you a jacket and gloves as well. You had your leash on you, but it was connected to your collar and then put in your pocket. Special permission was taken so you could lead the kids and make sure they were ok. The park wasn't far away and you would sit on the bench and watch them play.

Jake ran up and tugged your arm, "Come on Karkat, come play with us!"

You smiled and let them pull you onto the park equipment. Pushing them on the swings was a daily activity, as well as chasing them up and down the ladders and making sure they came all the way down the slides. They never seemed to run out of things to do. "Karkat!" Jake yelled, "You can't step on the ground! It's lava!"

Rolling your eye's you played along making sure to hop from one piece of equipment to the other. It was something you were surprisingly good at. Trolls are athletic, swift and strong. It was no problem for you to jump up and hold onto the cold metal bars. It was also an easy task to haul yourself up on top of the many roofed structures. The kids would look amazed and laugh when you just as easily jumped down. A smirk formed on your lips when Jake ran across the playground and Roxy yelled at him, "You're burning up! You touched the lava!"

"No! I have rocket shoes! I can't be burned," you chuckled at how easy it was to bend the rules if you were a child.

"Not fair! I have ice shoes then!" Roxy got down off the swing set and ran after her brother. "Tag you're it!"

Jake then ran up and tagged you, "Now you're it Karkat! You still can't touch the lava though!" Grinning you let them have a bit of a head start before nimbly pursuing them across the playground. It was easy for you to move across the bars and through the tunnels. In way it almost felt natural, and you had to stop yourself from thinking predatory thoughts. Eventually you caught Jake and tagged him back. He was laughing and of course the first words out of his mouth were, "You cheated Karkat!" He ran to the snow and flopped down moving his arms and legs back and forth.

"What are you doing?"

"Making a snow angel?"

"Snow angel?"

He sat up, "You know, an angel out of snow?"

You shook your head; Roxy ran up and made one too. "An angel is something that protects you. They have wings and halos and watch over loved ones. Mommy said Daddy is an angel now too."

"Oh," you didn't know what else to say so instead you fell into the snow beside the kids and made one too, but as soon as you hit the snow they started to pile more on top of you. There was quickly a small mountain of snow over your chest. The two children leaned against the pile and laughed. You made sure to smile at them and make the loudest purring noise you could.

"You're making that happy sound right now, right Karkat?"

Roxy noticed you nod, "You really are like a cat Kitty."

Soon you began to shiver and you pulled the kids up and lead them back home. Hot chocolate was the first thing you made after hanging their clothes to dry. You master walked in not too long after that. She greeted you and her kids who went running to hug her. "How were things with Karkat today?"

"Good! We played at the park!"

"That's nice. Karkat did they behave well?"

"Yes, there were no problems." It always got awkward when your master came back; your job was done for the most part so you slunk away into the other room and laid down in your nest of blankets. The days carried on like this for a two more weeks. Each day was the same as the last, but they were interesting at least. It wasn't like waking up and waiting all day for John to come home. This was different.

There was one night where you retreated to your corner for a well-deserved sleep when you felt two little bodies curl up beside you. "What are you doing? Go back to your beds you two."

"No, we wanna sleep with you tonight."

"Yeah I wanna stay next to Kitty."

You laughed and pulled their blankets over their small bodies better. Then you nestled down beside them. Your master walked over and looked down on you, "Sorry Master, they wanted to…"

She smiled, "Kids will be kids. Thank you for your hard work Karkat, they really have taken a liking to you."

"I noticed," you looked fondly down at them, "thank you for giving me a chance."

Your master bent down and pet your head gently. "You looked like you needed one."

She left you alone and you made sure to curl up and purr loudly. It was so weird having something to live for, and it was refreshing knowing you had a purpose and something to watch over and protect. Small humans are so innocent and nice, it was a shame they'd grow up and probably want to own you as well. You're almost one hundred percent sure that the world has always been like this though, there's no way your race was ever free, it's impossible. You're almost certain with your strength and teeth and claws you could rip a human apart, if you weren't so docile you're sure you could.

Lucky for the kids curled up next to you, you were docile and didn't want to hurt them. You wanted to protect them and make sure they were ok. Curling in tighter to your blankets you let out a contented sigh and closed your eyes. Sleep quickly whisked you away and you awoke refreshed and ready for another day.

You woke up before them and gently shook the two kids awake. "Hey, Jake, Roxy, time to wake up." You yawned and stretched getting out of your warm fuzzy pile of blankets. Quickly you made breakfast and coffee for your master. The two children were still sleeping. You kneeled down and shook them gently, "Hey, wake up, come on, you're going to miss breakfast." They rolled over and put a blanket over the head. "I'll tell you what; we'll go to the park first thing if you get up now."

They took the bait. These kids fucking love the park. You're not sure why they do, maybe it's because they like playing or maybe it's because that while out on the playground equipment they can be whatever they want? Kids can be heroes if they want to, and maybe it's…maybe it's like your dreams of being free? Or maybe you're thinking way to fucking much about this and they just like being outside. You like being outside. This new job, this new life, is amazing. You can leave the house; you can breathe fresh air and hear the snow crunch beneath your feet. You're still a pet, a slave, but it's different. You haven't had to whimper or whine or anything animalistic since you got purchased. For a long time you've known you were double trained. All the knowledge to be a perfect servant has been buried under the instincts to lick your master's face and sit by their side.

It was like any other day, any other time you'd taken the kids to the park. They were running and yelling and playing. You decided to play with them and push them on the swings and wait by the bottom of the slide. Something felt off though, on this average day. You couldn't quite place it. Like someone was watching you. That's when the wind changed and you picked up a scent.

His scent.

Your head whipped around and teeth were bared. There he was, not more than five feet from you. Stupid blue eyes widened in shock and recognition. Everything in your brain was fuzzy, nothing was clear and without thinking you jumped on him and tackled him to the ground. You wanted to bite him again; you wanted to dig your fangs deep into his shoulder. But you didn't, you held him to ground, pinning him against the snow and snarled. "K-Karkat?" You growled deeper, "That is you!" Surprise erased from his features and he smiled up at you, "Hey buddy, I missed you."

Almost instantly you lost it. All at once you broke down and cried on his chest. The sobbing turned to purring as you nuzzled his neck and licked his cheek. "Karkat! Who are you attacking? Is it a bad guy?"

John looked up to see a little boy standing next you, "No, I'm not a bad guy."

"Is he bothering you?" The boy grabbed your leash, "Get off him boy, off!" He tugged and you growled in protest. "I'm sorry he's being bad, Karkat off!"

This time you backed off him and sat by his side. "Fuck, John what are you doing here?"

"I was just taking a walk…I stopped and saw you, or at least I thought it was you, turns out I was right." He placed a hand on your collar and looked at the new tag, "I see you have a new owner now, I knew you would."

"No you didn't." You said softly, "You never knew for sure. I could be dead right now, and you wouldn't have known." Your hands dug into the snow and flexed fingers tipped with claws. "You left me there you asshole. You fucking ditched me, and you never came back."

"Karkat I'm sorry, I really am," Gently he reached up and scratched behind one of your horns. "Karkat, I really do miss you, I struggled, and struggled, and when I finally managed to overcome myself and got the money you were gone."

You broke the contact before you could turn into a purring mess again and stood up. Carefully you grabbed Jake's arm and lead him away, "It's too late for apologies." You signaled for Roxy to follow, "Come one guys, we're leaving."

On the way home Jake asked, "Did you know that man?"

"I did."

"Who was he?"

"He was my old master."

"Oh," he paused, "do you miss him?"

"Yes. No."

Jake laughed, "You growled at him, I thought he was a bad guy, you're pretty cool Karkat! Like a big guard dog."

"But he's a kitty!" Roxy giggled. "Attack kitty!"

You sighed, "I'm a troll, not a cat, or a dog." You reached their house and let yourself in, "You guys go take showers and I'll make tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for when you come back." Their hands slipped from yours and they charged upstairs to the bathrooms.

Once you heard the door shut and the water turn on you slumped against the wall and cried. You did not expect to see John ever again. You were not prepared for this; you don't think you'd ever be prepared for meeting him again. Emotions were like a storm and they pounded your brain like rain and washed your rational thinking away. You didn't know what way was up or down, it felt like drowning. All you could do was curl up in the corner of the kitchen and cry.

You hated him.

But…

You miss him too.

Ears picked up the sound of water turning off and you forced yourself up and started the canned soup and buttered the bread you were about to grill for the sandwiches. You had yourself pretty much pulled together by the time they came running downstairs to hug your legs and ask when lunch would be done. "Give me a second you guys, I'm cooking as fast as I can."

They run back to the living room and you can hear the TV turn on and videogames not long after. Your master comes home shortly after you cleaned up after dinner and you're thankful. She must have had a short day at work, thank god. As soon as you saw her you retreated to your corner and collapsed. She looked at you funny and asked if you were ok.

Before you could answer Jake came running in, "Mom, mom, mom, Karkat was sooo cool today!"

"Oh? What did he do?"

"He totally jumped on a guy who was acting creepy and watching us! It was pretty cool!"

"You did what, Karkat?"

You sat up and looked at floor, "There was a guy, I re-acted badly and tackled him. He's ok, I didn't hurt him."

"Kitty even knew his name!"

You gulped, "It was my former master." Your eyes were still trained on the floor. "I didn't mean to react like that, it was a shock to me, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, we'll talk later." She left you alone and went to greet her children. That night you opened your eyes to see your master sitting next to you and running her hand through your hair. "You were crying in your sleep, is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," but internally you were ripping yourself to pieces.

"It's hard to imagine that you guys are pets, you seem so much like us."

Swallowing hard again you choked out, "Don't. Now you sound like him."

"Your former master?" You nodded and noticed there was a soft glow to the room; your master lit a fire in the fireplace next to you. "Come on Karkat, let's move somewhere more comfortable." She got up and sat on the couch facing the flames. You grabbed your blanket and followed her sitting down on the floor near the couch. "Who was your old master? He must have been important for you to have such a reaction to him."

"He was…the first nice master I had had in eight years." You pulled your knees up and closed your eyes, "John is an idiot, but he was a nice idiot and it wasn't bad living as his pet."

"Do you want to go back to him?"

"I…I don't know," you responded honestly, "I was happy with him, but I'm happy here too. Trolls…we, well we form deep connections with our masters. It's to help establish a good relationship between master and troll. The human doesn't feel the bond, but we do. It makes us loyal, and care about our masters. Over my lifetime I've formed this bond four times. I'm only eighteen years old; most low blood trolls like me only form this bond once maybe twice." You were silent, "So you can see how hard it would be to just leave a family."

"Why have you had so many masters Karkat?"

"My first one…she…she died, and my second masters said I wasn't doing a good job, and my third was John, he couldn't handle being an owner, and then there's you." You opened your eyes, "So I'm basically the most unlucky troll at the center. They would always joke that I'd never find a permanent family and that my only destiny was to rot in a cage."

You're not sure what your master was thinking, you couldn't see her face so instead you stared into the flames. "Then I'm glad we picked you up and gave you a chance." She fell silent with you then added, "You've become part of this family, more than any dog or cat ever could. Jake and Roxy, they really care about you. They were depressed when their father died, we all were, but you've brought the smiles back. So I must thank you. Thank you Karkat." She placed a hand on your head and rubbed between your horns.

You purred deeply and leaned against her leg. Fingers continued to scratch your scalp and horns; you could feel your eyelids grow heavy and you murmured, "I miss John, but this is nice." Her fingers left your hand and she gently urged you up and to your pile of blankets. Fuzzily you grabbed one blanket and set it down by the fire and curled up with another blanket and enjoyed the flames warmth. Your master wished you a good night and left you alone.

She left you alone with you dreams, and in the warm embrace of blankets and the mellow sound of a crackling fire you had many, many, dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Then "new" characters are only named after the canon characters. If you want to think of them as different versions you can, but I didn't really write them as canons, I just used the convenient names. 
> 
> Also this chapter isn't edited fully yet, I'm going away from my computer for a few days but I can do that when I get home.
> 
> There are a few more scenes I wanted to add, but I'll stick them in the next chapter from John's point of view.


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